Dear Pete

As a friend you told me that you were going to stay unconnected from girls for the summer. I gladly obliged and tried to remain just a friend, not showing too much interest.

Well, Pete, it's no longer summer and I'm first in the line of girls that fills up a whole gym that was waiting for summer to be over.

I will gladly give up my place in line if you would just answer a few questions of mine:

1. Did you really stay unconnected from girls over the summer? Or are high school friends an exception?

2. When you're a real gentleman and you make me feel like a million bucks, is there a little bit of it just for me or is that just what you do for all girls?

3. If there is no interest in me please just be blunt? I know you can be and have been with girls in the past. This way I don't have to waste any more energy or worries on you.

If you could just get back to me as soon as possible, that would be wonderful.

From, Katrina



Oh the things I wish I could say to speed up the process...

Running therapy

When I get frustrated or upset my energy spikes and I don't think like an adult. In the past I have kicked walls or thrown myself on the ground.

After admitting that, I realize it's very immature and childish. Don't judge.

When I get to this point, there is no talking me out of it. I've had people try to comfort me in my frustration and it usually just makes it worse. The only thing for me to do is to get my energy out in someway.

Everyone chills their own way. I have friends who sleep. Others who read books. I know some who just have to be alone and breathe.

My method is the last one. Multiplied a little.

I've found the best way for me to de-stress or avoid my frustration fits is to run.

Yesterday I reached a point of frustration where I couldn't think about anything else but wanting to get out and run. I went straight home and threw on my sweat clothes and running shoes.

An hour and 4.3 miles later I was calm.

Stadium Terrace #18

Fall 2012 semester starts tomorrow. I'm so nervous. Besides the classes that I have to audition for I shouldn't be nervous. All we'll be doing is reading syllabuses. I guess what I am nervous for is what is to come in a month or two. Lots of homework. Blowing it off to sleep. Break downs in my bedroom. Getting bad grades in *pre-reqs.

I just really want to do a good job this year. And of course I know it's all up to me. 

On the upside I moved into my new apartment. I'm really loving it. I picked my roommate according to what pictures she had hanging up in her room. Ended up being an excellent method. She loves Asians, Lord of the Rings, and old classic movies. She's her own kind of weird :) I know we're going to be great friends.

Hey so do you remember Pete... So update. He went out of state for the summer and informed me he wasn't planning on getting in any relationships before then. Well the last guy that I liked as much as Pete I scared off. So this time I decided that I would avoid that. I tried to distract myself. I saw the boy from my American Heritage class. The one I thought I was leading. I saw John. We hung out a couple of times and I could have made it  work. I was reminded of a crush I've had on one of my best friends. He was concerned for my making out well being and gave me the option of a NCMO. I knew it wouldn't fix anything but it would definitely distract. That didn't happened... Well it might have if I hadn't been kicked out of my own neighborhood.

Point being I tried to get myself over Pete. Or at least stop thinking about him. I went a whole month without talking to him.

Side note. For some reason I feel the need to tell the guy that I'm interested in everything that is happening in my life. When I asked friends to take a look at our conversations, my friends said that he seemed too much like my shoulder to cry on... I'm screwed because I don't know how to flirt with guys so that was my only form of getting to know him. Ah nuts. 

Anyway I saw him yesterday to practice dancing and of course he had to be such a stinkin sweetie. Pretty much everything I did during the summer failed. I want to call him and just talk. I want to go to his apartment and tell him everything that has happened to me this summer. I want to ask him about a high school friend of his that he might possibly be interested in. I'm supposed to give it time but I don't want to.

Please tell me I'm not the only girl whose ever felt like this in their life.

*I'm looking into switching from the dance major to a dietetics major. You have to apply to the program after taking all the pre-reqs. For me that's looking at being February 2014. We'll see how that goes.