59 days.

It's been a while.

News.
I got my mission call.
I have been called to serve in the Puerto Rico San Juan Mission, speaking Spanish. I report to the Dominican Republic Missionary Training Center in 59 days.

My goal for this blog is to post everyday until then. I will blog two posts but you will only be reading one right away the second you will be reading during my mission (thanks to the sweet little schedule gadget).

I will leave you tonight with this...
I am grateful for:
Parents who have loved and supported me in my decisions.
Friends who have brought smiles to my face constantly.
A gospel that has given me standards to live by.
A sister who, no matter how much I didn't want her to go, chose to serve a mission and be an example to me.
A little brother who has made sure that I don't become too much of a tight wad.
My talent to dance when I need therapy.
All my siblings for the love they bring to our family.
A beautiful world that our Heavenly Father has blessed us with.
Our Savior and brother, Jesus Christ, who took upon himself the sins, sadness, sickness, and burdens of the world. He understands the good and the bad and because of His love for us we can return to live with Heavenly Father again someday.

Reminder.

Today I had a friendly figurative bonk on the head. A reminder of sorts about what I should be looking for in my future husband. I think it's kind of funny that it was all thanks to reading about a how happily married LDS man deals with being gay.
It reminded me that although all the physical attraction is great... it's a bonus. Not that I am being shallow I've just forgotten that the main goal is a best friend. Somebody, that no matter what, we can pull through all the hard stuff; continually loving each other and still seeing the joys in every day life.

Growing up.

So tonight was a big night for my little brother. He went to his junior prom. He did go to prom last year. While half of his friends could go but didn't want to, he decided he was going to ask a senior who had never been to a boys choice dance. He is just such a sweetie. Anyway, it's not his first prom but it is still exciting... This year he took his girlfriend. *Note: This young lady is his first ever* Just thinking about it makes me happy.

For spring cleaning my mother is organizing her storage room. Oh dear, let me tell you, it is full of so many of the little things that we bring home and think we will use in the future but never do... Example: All the different elementary school projects that each child made. Most of which shouldn't decorate the house longer than a year. Oh and fun fact! Before 5 o'clock this afternoon my mother was in possession of every single New Era made in history. Est. 1971. Some of those babies were hilarious!          But I definitely think this was one of my favorites. 

My mom and I also discovered a couple other treasures in our efforts. I have often heard my mom tell stories about how social she was back in high school but today I witnessed the evidence of it. In one of the boxes my mom found her old high school photo album/scrapbook It contained certificates, ticket stubs, the works of memorabilia etc. Well there is one story I have heard of my mom at the Sadie Hawkins's dance. They had a hitching post one year for her school and my mom definitely lived up to the Mormon stereotype that year. Everybody went stag so it wasn't like she was being a home wrecker so to speak but she definitely got around. I've heard a few different numbers but today finalized it. That night my mom married 14 different times... kissed them all. This is a picture of all her rings and certificates. The rings that don't have certificates were repeat gentlemen. They had to renew their vows... hehehe  Anyway, I also learned a fun fact. My mom went through 6 boyfriends in one year during high school. I don't know about you but I was caught off guard. I don't think I've even had that many boyfriends ever.    
The things we learn about our parents can completely change our perspective.

Happy Memories

I was just posting Natalie's most recent email to her blog when I decided to start perusing. 

I found a wonderful gem that I had forgotten about. 

This is Richard, Natalie and I. We act like dorks sometimes but what do you expect... 

We're siblings.

Enjoy.

A few of my favorites

I don't care what you say.

I have the cutest nieces and nephew.

Meet William, Elizabeth and Juliette.

William. One of my best friends.
I would gladly have one of my own just like him:}

This is Elizabeth. What a stinkin cutie!!
At first she is shy... but then she's not.
I love her.

And the newest addition, Juliette.
Kenzie and I gave her her very first nickname when we met.
Bugsee.
She's grown into her eyeballs since then...

Lately

I've been trying to spend less time sitting in front of my computer wasting time. Result? I don't blog for a week and a half.

Well pretty much this last week I have been tired. I've been in such a bouncy mood. But still tired. 

Yesterday I almost fell asleep while getting my planters warts worked on.

I turned my alarm clock off and slept until 3:53. A.M. Just a reminder, I have to be to work at 4. Ya, problem. I was only about thirty minutes late. 

Then at about 2:00 today I decided it was time for a nap. I konked on one of the Richard's building benches and I woke up to find I had drooled on my backpack... Yummy. 

On a more lady-like note, I've started putting make-up on again. Mainly because I want to quit looking like a sweaty, disgusting mess when I get to a certain dance class, where, I get to dance and flirt with a certain cute boy.

On the dating spectrum, I have two friends who are setting me up on blind dates. That should be lots of fun. I am going to have to try not to say anything stupid or awkward... Unfortunately I'm really good at it.

I also got a letter in the mail from Natalie:} I was really super excited! She loves me.

And that is pretty much it. Have a wonderful week.

Farewell

This weekend was more than just a weekend.

It was more than just three day vacation from school.

It was more than just pay day.

It was more than a memorial for civil rights. 

It's a memory I will always remember.

This weekend was Natalie's last weekend in the United States for the next 18 months.

It's one of my memories I will call on when I begin missing her beyond belief.

Nothing too monumental happened but it was a great farewell weekend.



Friday night:

• Natalie picked me up from Provo.
• We made our way to Dominos to buy two fantastic Pizzas.
• Drove around Provo searching for Mom's credit card. 
• Went back to Dominos.
• Headed back to PG.
• Watched the Switch.

Saturday: 

• Slept in.
• Went grocery shopping.
• Did some homework.
• Went and shot a russian sniper rifle and an AK47.
• Ate unbelievable amounts of food.

Sunday:

• Natalie's farewell talk.
• Cried during the closing hymn.
• Played life.
• Ate more food.

Monday:

• Folded laundry.
• Went out for Macey's ice cream.
• Had a Jurassic Park marathon.
• Made a down payment for some fantastic cowboy boots.
• Watched the Switch again.

But I never gave her a hug goodbye so it looks like I'm going with my parents to drive her to the airport.

Tears are necessary sometimes

You know I could write this blog as if my life were perfect.
I could only ever talk about things that are good that happen to me but then it wouldn't be true to it's name.
A simple life doesn't mean that it's a PERFECT life. It's still life.

People say that you shouldn't focus on the bad. You should try to only see the good.
I've been guilty of saying it. But you can't ignore the hard stuff forever. So this is me telling you how I smacked it right in the face. It's still there but I've given it a piece of my mind and I will show that I will keep on living.
This might be a little scattered but that's how my thoughts are so...

Remember how I made my decision to cut my credit hours this semester from 17.5 to 13.5? Probably one of the smartest things I've done in the last couple of weeks.

Since school started last week I've been stressed.
During the day I've been trying my best to be the best student I can be.
My dance teachers have been throwing dance routines and combinations at me so fast, that the fact that I'm keeping up is a miracle.

I eat breakfast at 3:45ish. Lunch at 9. Then dinner at 3.
Every evening when I get home I am so exhausted I just want to collapse on my bed and sleep for 10 hours.
But every evening I start thinking about everything I have to do, handling my new job as SDEO secretary, all my homework, what groceries I'm going to buy, am I going to have enough for rent, and the fact that I have to wake up at 3 the next morning.

Then I remember that everything close to me isn't close at all. A week ago my apartment was a complete stranger to me. I don't live with wonderfully familiar faces anymore. Cam and Kenzie are potentially moving far away. My sweet little brother, who would rather hang out with me than his friends, can't just walk into my room and listen to me vent whenever I need it. He lives 30 minutes away. All the people who love me most, are far away. And the person I usually rely on to keep me thinking realistically, is going on a mission halfway around the world.

Every night I get stressed and anxious about life and I feel like no matter what I tell myself, it won't work. The only bit of crying I've been doing has been a couple tears in my bed or while writing in my journal.

Then last night happened.
Todd and I were trying to practice our routines when he asked, "You're a mess aren't you?"
I broke down and bawled my eyes out. I talked to Todd about my frustrations. About how much I hate my work hours. How I'm sure I would be doing fine if I weren't waking up so early. (Todd has worked the exact same job so he understands.)

Later I decided it was time to call Mom and talk to her about life.
***Just FYI mom's are wonderful. I'm so grateful to have Carrolee as mine.***
She knew just what I needed. She let me explode and then she comforted. Then she talked reason helping to calm me down. I'm no longer trying to convince myself that I can do this. She reminded me that I can. Talking to her has helped so much.

I'm still stressed but I'm no longer trying to say I'm not. I know that through Heavenly Father, I can conquer this semester.

I applied for a summer job up in Alaska last night. Just so I can get out of Utah. I also applied for two others alternate jobs for the semester to give myself options.

I also decided to call in sick this morning to work. I might not have a cold or the flu but I definitely was sick for a break. I'm starting over today. I woke up at 6:45. Showered. Did homework. Ate lunch. (I missed breakfast while sleeping.) Then baked potatoes for dinner this afternoon.

I can do this.

Domesticity

Christmas break is truly a wonderful thing.   No homework to worry about.    Wassle.    Family.    Christmas lights.      Free time to do something.     Or absolutely nothing.     Snow*.       Sledding.      Temple Square.            Gifts.       Silly pranks.    

Break? Fantastic.

I think this years theme for my break was Work and Domesticity.

If you work on campus, you would think that you get off when there isn't any school.

False.  

Besides the the Friday and Monday before and After the two holidays of break, I have rolled out of bed to be to work by 4 AM. 

I've been working extra hours so that this Friday I'll have a decent number on my next paycheck.  The last one was a bit pitiful. 

But you know I'm not complaining. I'm making good money for this job and every Thursday we feast on Egg nog and donuts during break.  Southern Comfort. So yummy.

Last week I went shopping with my mother and one of the stores we stopped at was Robert's. This store has sentimental value to me, but unfortunately, Hobby Lobby has stolen business and now Robert's is closing. Fortunately. Everything is discounted.

When we walked in Mom said, "Now if there was ever a creative project you wanted to make, now is the time to do it."

So I did.

I went to the jewelry isle and bought the materials to make a necklace that I've been trying to imitate with things I've found around the house. It's never worked. So I was very excited. I then bought some fuzzy Burgundy yarn. Along my way I found decoratable headbands and bought those too. 

So far I've made my necklace, a bracelet with extra material, a hat with a wonderful pom pom on top for my sister in law, an earwarmer headband(out of yarn) for Natalie while she is on her mission, and 4 head bands. (The coloring is off but you can see the design.)

 Folded Fabric Flower
Made for Natalie

 Braided

Burgundy Felt flower
Also made for Natalie

Buttons

I like the top three best. I made the button one first but it's still cute.

I also figured out how to make a fabric headband, no plastic. 

On the cooking ground I made waffle's, assisted with bread, and for the very first time, pesto as a colour/spice for pasta. I didn't exactly know what pesto was, so I doubled the recipe because I didn't the original made enough to cover the pasta I was making. Let's just say when I mixed in the pesto, we had some pasta that would clear your sinuses. No fear! After some rinsing it was delicious.

I learned a new important fact to remember for when I have appliances of my own. If you ever use gas to get oil off your driveway, throw the rag you use away! If put in a washer to clean it, the gasoline in the rag will eat away at the rubber in the washer.

I'm not sure what to do about clothes... Wash it by hand? It would be super unfortunate to have to throw away clothes because of an accidental spill. People like me... always wear crappy clothes when handling gasoline. Just in case.

Well this Christmas there was a little extra spice added... PRANKS. We were sitting around with nothing to do the the two weekends ago and we decided to pull a funny on my father Christmas morning. We decided that it would have to involve putting cellophane across my dad's bedroom door and then pouring some sort of messy material in between the door and the plastic. When he woke up and came out for presents... SURPRISE!
Packing Peanuts?      Shredded paper?      Popcorn?
We picked the one at our easiest disposal. Shredded paper. It's so simple to make.

Christmas afternoon rolled around and I realized that we hadn't done anything! I was so upset. I learned my siblings didn't want to wake up super early to do it so it would be happening while he was in for his Sunday nap.
We got it all up and then decided that video footage was necessary.
It was the best.
Video later to come.

Well have a happy rest of the holidays!

*There wasn't any this year though:(

3 Weeks

Life has happened.

Highlights.
*I witnessed a bird commit suicide. The next day I learned my teacher gave him a funeral.
*I've prioritized and stopped doing half my reading assignments. Something has to be sacrificed if I want to stay sane.
*I'm now employed.
*I've learned of a halfway nocturnal species of human walking BYU campus. AM custodial.
*I've started daydreaming about and hoping to be able to move closer to campus.
*I've learned that I'm leading a certain boy on and I don't have to say yes to a date again. Don't know exactly how that will go.
*We made 27 pies for Thanksgiving.
*My nieces and nephews came to visit. Oh along with my brother and sister-in-law.
*Natalie went through the temple for the first time.
*There is now a 12 foot Christmas tree standing in my parents house with a little help of a ladder and a tall sister-in-law.
*I realized that I'm so stupid when it comes to liking boys. I'm always falling for the ones who have at least 20 girls who have already called dibs.
*After a perfect date, I've gone on such an exciting emotional roller coaster, that now I don't care if I die a spinster.
*Black Friday has made a major dent in my pocket. I've bettered my wardrobe a bit.
*This semester is almost over.
*I went on a blind date and didn't die.
*The W-4 tax form has confused me.
*A letter came in the mail stamped with the same stamps that I buy. PIXAR. Love.

Hope your past couple of weeks have been grand.

"Life is in session." -The Switch

Hehehe

A Birthday.

Not everyone appreciates the reminder that one more year has passed, but I'm okay with it. For now. 

There is just so much to look forward to on Birthdays, I don't see why I wouldn't love them. I get calls from my siblings and we just talk about life. I get to pick what we get to eat for dinner and not have to prepare it. I get the feeling of being extra special.  It's one year closer to the rest of my life. I love the excitement of not knowing what is going to happen in the next year.

I can't say the the thought of getting older doesn't scare me. It does. I have a body right now and I love the  blessing it is. But how long am I going to be able to dance, run, hike or just go from day to day with the ease that I do now? What about my mind? I am a forgetful person as it is, what is going to happen when I get older?

It might be scary but it's alright because I will make the most of it. I heard that as we get older our bad traits become worse, so I am going to try my best right now to be the person I want to be when I am old. My memory might get lots worse but it's okay because I WILL remember that I'm alive and I have a body. So long as I can keep that thought alive in my mind, life is wonderful.


Every year my birthday has been different. One year when I was little my parents told me that I wasn't going to have a party that year and of course I believed them. Even when my sister asked me who I would invite if I were to have a party. I did get a party that year. For my sixteenth birthday I thought a surprise party would be the best. How I celebrated was the best but definitely not what I had in mind. Chelsey picked me up then we bought dinner at Wendy's and a Kong Kone at Macey's. For my eighteenth birthday, I would have never guessed that I would be running around Disneyland with my best friends.

I enjoyed this year's as much as any other. I slept in and then had some fantastic pancakes. I chuckled as I opened the gift Grandma gave me. You know your grandma loves you when she gives you a flashlight. I will make sure that I use it a lot in the future. After that Nat and I went to Costco for my ward calling. It was just the time they had all the free samples out... We headed home to put away our groceries but Eugene ran out of gas. That was an adventure. Natalie then took me to campus for a self defense class and we kinda just wandered around campus. We didn't take any stairs and rode all the elevators sitting down. So much fun.

What would a birthday be without a dance performance? While we were on campus, we decided to stop and watch the daCi day of dance performance. I love watching children dance. I then had the rest of the afternoon to study and get ready for my dinner date.

I was actually surprised when my friend said he wanted to take me out for dinner. I've never had a guy take me out for my birthday before but who would deny dinner with a friend. And I got to pick where we went. I chose mexican.

I think my talent for putting myself in embarrassing situations is really incredible. I hadn't eaten too much during the day because I was so looking forward to dinner. By the time we made it to the restaurant I was shaking. I don't know why it happens or what exactly triggers it but I would say it's kinda like hypoglycemia. I think he might have thought I was super nervous. While eating I spilled food on the table and I dropped my fork on the floor. Thankfully I didn't get any on myself. I also said some things that I didn't realize could be awkward till after I said them, but he was such a gentleman he just shrugged it off. It was a dinner full of opportunity to be embarrassed but I never felt embarrassed. This was momentous.

Anyway Kirk said that he was going to tell them to sing to me for my birthday and I threatened him not to. I thought I had won when he never said anything to our waiter. Just as I was finishing my smothered burrito, a group of waiters came in making lots of noise carrying the treat I would get if I endured this well. At that second I remembered Kirk had called that morning. They sang. Clapped. Kirk smiled, proud of his discreteness. And I turned red. But the fried ice cream was totally worth it.


When I got home, Natalie demanded I watch the movie she had just finished. It was a chick flick. The accidental husband. Really tender. Watch it.

As I lied in bed, I thought about what I had done for my birthday and decided that it was a wonderful day.

Please excuse me.

Those links in my last post were slightly obnoxious....

But definitely necessary sometimes.

It was late. I was tired and sick of being stressed.

It's Thursday. I'm am again tired. I have two papers due tomorrow that I really don't want to do right now.

I'm going to ramble because I feel like I worn my sister out with my whining.

I love dancing. That's what I want to be doing right now.

I'm impatient. I want to get better at dancing but feel like I don't have 

the time.

I really want to go on a date.

With somebody my age.

Somebody who is not a creeper.

I should to write a reply letter but don't have time.

I'm in charge of a Halloween party for 200 people.

I really don't want to screw it up.

I need to see my best friends because it's been too long.

I need to get away from a computer and go outside.

Maybe hike the "Y"

I would love a job so I can move out of my grandma's basement.

It would be fantastic if Christmas would come faster

so that I can see my whole family together again.

Sometimes I think that God allowed music to exist just for me.

The topic has nothing to do with my situation

but it just reminds me that everything is going to be alright.

It's life.

roommate.

It's 10:52 p.m. in Provo, Utah and I'm in my bedroom staring at my computer, in some fantasticly large scrubs that I turned into pajamas, listening to music.

All alone.

This is almost normal but not quite.

I would have included a roommate in there if it were any night just like the other. 

But my roommate went away to my favorite place 

in the entire world and I didn't go because I had other plans for the weekend.

Here is a quick rundown on the history between my roommate and I.

We first met 

18 years, and 10 months ago.

We didn't really become acquainted in a normal way.

I would say that it was forced upon us. We had no choice.

We became roommates right off. Although I was indifferent and didn't really have an opinion I'm not exactly sure how she felt about it. But that's how it was.

We were roommates for quite a few years.

16 to be exact... about.

I once tried to convince her that I was older than her. I failed.

She once tried to cut off all my hair. She succeeded.

We became friends.

But in our 17th year of rooming together an opportunity opened up for 

me to go from shared to private rooming and I was ready to be separated. I moved her out that same day. She was still lived nearby though. (Down the hall)

A year later she moved to a different city.

I started missing seeing her everyday. I missed talking to her.  

She had become one of my closest friends. 

3 years later, 3 months ago

I moved out of our old room and headed to college. 

I asked her if she would be my roommate again. 

She consented. 

We've been rooming since.

This is my roommate.

She's a keeper.